38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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