smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
