i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
