Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
