I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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