just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
