I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Come share oat with me in your robe
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
