Umm I'm too high to move.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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