I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think my vagina is haunted
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have surprise drugs for everyone
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
