I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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