His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
