it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
