After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
