I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
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