TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
