he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
