in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
