scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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