when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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