alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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