therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
