Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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