so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
All the doctor said was why
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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