Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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