I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
