She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
