He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
