Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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