I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
