you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sorry about my life...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
