I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
