he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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