I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize
