This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
