Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
