where does the pee come out of this thing
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
