yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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