Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
