he shaved USA in his pubs
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Congratulations! We have a period
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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