so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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