That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
