good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
