I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
