i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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