"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
