and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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