We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
