barbara walters just said penis...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We left an ass print on the piano.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
