I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
