whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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