The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
